Emerging from a cave

CD/HB for Sleepy!!!

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You have pondered the meaning of love for many years. Even when you were but a Brute in the service of Derse, you wondered about it; what it meant, how you obtained it, who you shared it with. You are voracious when it comes to materials that deal with this question, your collection of romance novels and books on the subject of relationships being quite large. You were first taught it meant being with someone for the purpose of marriage and reproduction; the king and queen stalwart examples for their underlings to follow. But after the fall of Derse and Prospit, wandering those endless sands, you noticed it didn’t quite matter if you were officially married or not; it seemed especially pertinent now that there was no system here that would allow for marriage. You have pondered the idea of children, too, and decided that was not necessary for love or a relationship, it couldn’t be. The idea of children scared you, and you couldn’t believe you would not have love just because you did not want to have children. Your time with the crew was rife with new experiences. Among them was the attention. You could go to almost any bar and have someone hanging off your arm by the time you left, drunk or not. Sometimes you’d take them home, sometimes you’d just wander the streets. But these never lasted the way you wanted them too. Even if they stayed long enough for it to be termed a relationship, something would get in the way. Your job, their job, extraneous forces, the way they felt would change, the way you felt would change. Over time this brought you much grief, as the idea that love was fleeting at best did not sit well in your heart. You found yourself confiding in your friend Deuce more and more often as time passed.

And he listened.

As time went on and you continued to despair, you started to notice something. Little notes in some of your favorite books, or just left around your room, little things like ‘I think you’re wonderful!’ or ‘You’re super-duper!” written on them. You knew Deuce was leaving them around but it did not occur to you to make anything of them. But one Valentines Day, when you were considering whether going to a bar was worth it or would end up making you feel worse, he stopped you.

Took a heart shaped package from his coat.

Gave it to you.

You could see the little drawings Deuce had added after he bought it, your symbols drawn together with “You & Me!” scribbled between them. You wondered why you never thought to look right here for a thing called love.

oh god i feel embarrassed now take it take my love